Posts Tagged ‘funny’

Ice Cream

Posted: September 20, 2014 in Babies, Daughter, funny, toddlers, Uncategorized
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A cute funny.

We have one of those fridge’s that has the freezer on the bottom. So this one day, my hubby, (daddy) was opening to see what we could make for dinner. Now when this door opens, Little L loves to dig in. It is like a whole new world to her. Once it was open, here comes Little L. She grabs a carton of ice cream, pulls it out, carries it to the middle of the kitchen floor. She sits it down and proceeds to sit on it. Then within a second, she stands up, carries it back to the freezer, puts it right back in the spot she took it from and walks away. We both look at each other, laughed, and then my hubby says, “Must not have been the right flavor!”   😉

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why do husbands make you feel guilty about certain things then can turn around and do the same thing and not think anything about it? Like trying to take an afternoon nap. If I do this, the world has come to an end. OMG, mom fell asleep, what shall we do? Who will take care of us? If he does it, it’s all good babe. why you mad? When I think of all the nights I have been awake while he snores away really makes this momma mad. When I go to bed, he will wake me up 90% of the time when he finally comes in. I hate this. Doesn’t he realize how precious momma sleep is? Doesn’t he know how nerve wracking it is to be woken up throughout the night. All you sleep deprived momma’s out there know what I am talking about.  I don’t think he gets it at all.

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He also makes me feel guilty for not spending time with him after the kids go to sleep. The other night, Little L was not wanting to go to sleep, she gets off the bed several times. Then comes back to me to put her back on. I must of changed 3 pee diapers within an hours time. Finally at 9:30 she just passed out! No warning at all. I think she knew I was at my wits end. Oh how I miss the days of her going down at 8 pm then sleeping til 7 am. That was awesome! So she goes to sleep, I sneak out of the room. *Breathe* I get the computer for a little bit, reading some blogs and catching up on Facebook. Then about 11 I was ready to go to bed myself. My hubby then says,”You want to watch a movie?” It was like he knew what was coming. “No I want bed.” I said. “Oh you never spend time with me.” And there it was folks. That lovely guilt trip phrase that he loves to say.  I guess setting here beside him for 2 hours wasn’t good enough. So I turned the laptop off and just sat there. Eyes closing, head drooping. He lets me go to sleep and leaves me there for the next hour. When I wake up I stumble on to bed, a bit upset that he just let me sit on the couch like that.

The next day he comes in about 2 pm. Heads to the bedroom and lies down. I go to talk to him, see if he is ok. Sure everything is good, he is just hot.  All righty then. I continue to sit beside him and we watch Little L play and run back and forth. I come back into the kitchen to do a few things, go back and guess what? He is asleep. Yes, asleep! What the hell, right? Here he wants me to sit up half the night with him to watch t.v., but can’t stay awake to spend time with the kids and me during the day. I was mad, but like the good wife that I am, I let him sleep. Making as much noise as possible, that man slept for 2 hours! No lie!  I know he was tired, but I’m tired too. I sure could use a good 2 hour nap, couldn’t you?

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I just love starting the day out with baby giggles. To hear them makes me smile from ear to ear. That is how today started. Little L is officially 15 months old! I watch this baby girl grow and learn everyday. It’s just amazing!!  Two days ago, we turned her crib into a toddler bed. I know, most don’t do this until the kid is at least 2 or so. But Little L never sleeps in her crib anymore. She is always, ALWAYS, in the bed with us. Even when I try to move her I may get an hour or two tops before she wakes up and cries. Because I am weak, and of course, the lack of sleep, I give in, and put her back in with us. She used to sleep in her crib through the night, but she came down with a head cold in the spring and then some teething went on…so you get the picture.  (Yea yea, excuses, excuses!)

When daddy took off that front side, and lowered the mattress all the way down, the fun was on. She had a blast going up and down and playing on the bed. We also got some great pics of her sweet smiles.

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Even big sis joined in on the fun and crawled in the crib with her. I don’t know how, with her long legs, but she did it.

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She hasn’t slept in her bed as of yet. We just want her to get used to it, and hoping one day, she just lies down and goes to sleep. Probably wishful thinking, but dreamers can dream, right?!

Yesterday morning, when she woke up the first thing she did, after making sure I was awake, was head right to the new toy bed. Then I heard the giggles. So sweet!! A little bit later, big sis came in and then there were more giggles. I tell ya, these two together are so cute!

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The giggles continued throughout the day. They had a game last night of Little L sitting on the bed, looking at a book. Then big sis would throw the blanket at her. She, of course, would laugh like crazy and get down, give her sister back the blanket, crawl back onto the bed and continue “reading”. Too funny. I tried to get some pics of this, but Little L saw the camera and forgot about the game and wanted it instead. Can’t wait to see what else these two come up with!

 

 

Now if you are like me, you are asking yourself what the hell is the ‘C’ word??  We  were living in Washington state and my daughter, was around 6, maybe close to 7. We had stopped to get some gas so we could go into town for awhile. My girl and I went in to pay while daddy stayed out to pump the gas. We were walking back to the car, when she asks this question, “Mommy, can I say the ‘C’ word? I know I just stared at her, wondering what this mysterious word was. The ‘C’ word, I thought, I know the ‘F’ word, the ‘D’ word, the ‘H’ world, but OMG I do not know this ‘C’ word. I gave in after a few seconds of scanning the cuss word file in my head and said, “Honey, what word is the ‘C’ word, exactly?” She gets really close and says, “Crap.”  Oh thank God, I thought. I started laughing and looked up to see that her daddy was finishing. I said, “Sure, as long as you don’t let your daddy hear you.” Then she leaned in close again and in this tiny little whispering voice, she says it. “Crap, crap, crap, crap. crap!” It was so cute and sooooo funny that we both started laughing and climbed in the car. Daddy got in and asked us what was so funny. We just looked at each other and said “Nothing!” 🙂

Baby Bucket List

Posted: September 15, 2014 in Babies, Daughter, funny, humor, kids, toddlers, Uncategorized
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Little L can officially mark pooping in the tub off her bucket list.  Yep the little stinker, or crapper, did it to me last night.

We were enjoying a nice bath, I was watching her play with some toys and all of a sudden she lets out a couple of little toots. She looks at me and I laughed. Then came the grunt. Oh snap she is gonna crap! I jumped up to grab the towel and before I could turn around, she was sitting in the water, pooping away. I scooped her up, not caring about getting any on me, wrapped the towel around her and headed off to the bedroom. We made it to the diaper before any more came out. WHEW!

She was definitely on a role, because that morning, I woke up feeling something warm on my side. I touched it, it was also wet. Hum…I thought, in my sleepy slumber…warm and wet. Ahhhh, her diaper leaked!!  I jumped up and sure enough, her diaper runneth over and it was all over me!  So we can mark that off her bucket list also.

Ok kid, anymore surprises? I need to read this bucket list you got going on!   🙂

 

 

 

For the Love of Bacon

Posted: September 14, 2014 in bacon, blog, Daughter, funny, girls, humor, kids, Uncategorized
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This morning the oldest comes out of her cave and sets down across from me while I was feeding Little L. We do our usual good mornings. Then she says, “I think I’ll skip breakfast today.” Oh really why?” I asked. “Just not that hungry.” *pause* I could tell she is thinking. “Unless we are having bacon. Then I want some, 2 pieces, no make it 3!” She added with a gleam in her eye. “You can have 2, save some for someone else.” I said, laughing. She headed back to her cave.

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As I was making the bacon, she made her usual pass through. “I smell bacon!” She sang, smiling at me. “Yep, its cooking.” I smiled back. She headed back to her cave again. I had just put the bacon on the plate, when I heard her door open. It was like she had ESB, Extra Sensory Baconception. Her bacon sense must have been tingling! I smiled and said, “It’s done, but it’s hot!” Now she won’t pick up the first piece she comes too, NOOOO, she has to touch every single piece on the plate. I look at her and she says, “You know I only like the crispy ones.” I know kid, oh how I know. She gets her 2 pieces and  goes back to the cave.

When she comes back with an empty plate, I ask her, “You want some of daddy’s fried potatoes? They are done.” “Yep, I’ll take some.” So I put some on a plate and then she heads out. She comes back within minutes and says can I have a piece of toast. “Yes, honey, you can have a piece of toast.” By now, I’m thinking what the hell happened to no breakfast. She makes her toast and then goes back to her room. She once again emerges with an empty plate. I ask her, “Are you done now, are you full?” “Yep.” A few seconds later, “Is there any bacon left?” She asks wondering around the kitchen. “Nope, it’s gone.” I told her. “OK” she says. “You know I love bacon.”  Yes kid, I know! 😉

 

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Enjoying some quiet time, Little L has been sleeping for awhile. In walks hubby…

Hubby: She’s still sleeping?

Me: Yep, been like 2 hours.

Hubby: Have you checked on her?

Me: Yes… sis has been in and out of the room too.

Hubby: Maybe you should see if she’s breathing.

Me: My Lord, she is.  *sits for a minute, thinking, starts to worry*

I get up, go in bedroom. I move the pillow oh so slightly to see her face. She jumps awake. Sits up, looks at me like I’m the most evilest mother for disturbing her.

Me: I’m sorry baby, daddy made me.

She crawls away to the other side of the bed.

I hear the door open. It’s my hubby escaping.

Me: “THANK YOU!”

I hear a faint “you’re welcome”, as the door shuts.

Creepy Bassinet

Posted: September 11, 2014 in Babies, blog, funny, humor, kids, Uncategorized
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One of my blogs I wrote  this past Sunday, was about Hand-Me-Downs. Yesterday, on the Daily Post they wanted people to write about Hand-Me-Downs and they would post it on their site. I was sooooo happy. One, I had already wrote it and Two,  it really means alot to me. I wasn’t sure how to do a pingback, but I guess I figured it out, since I just found it on their site.

Well, I was reading some of the other posts and I got to thinking about another hand-me-down that was given to me,  but I didn’t want to keep it. It actually scared the crap out of me! We had these friends that had 3 girls and she had given me lots of little onesies and stuff. One day they asked if I wanted a bassinet. I said sure, would love it! My hubby was going into town and he was going to stop by and pick it up. When he brought it back, I was like, what the hell is that? He said he knew I wouldn’t want it, but he took it anyways, just to be nice. I can still remember it, like it was yesterday. It was white, but kinda dirty and it was definitely old. It was made out of wicker, I believe. I told my hubby, no wonder they didn’t want it anymore, its CREEPY! No way was I gonna put our kid in that thing. It looked like something you would see in a scary movie, like Freddy Kruger came to mind. Yes, it was that bad!

My hubby said if I didn’t want it that he would just take it out and get rid of it. They didn’t want it back. He didn’t have to say it twice, I told him to get rid of it. Burn it, it was just too spooky looking.  He took it out back and threw it on a pile of other stuff he was going to burn. Now this is another scary part, as soon as he lit the pile, it bursted into flames and black smoke billowed from it. OMG I couldn’t believe it. What if I had kept it and put my baby in it, what if somehow…I can’t even bring myself to type it much less say it. I think you get the point though.

After that, I didn’t take anything else from them. I was too scared what it might look like. 🙂

Tail waggin’

Posted: September 10, 2014 in Babies, Daughter, funny, girls, humor, kids, toddlers
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Watching Little L trying to get around the dog. She pushes on his side and he starts wagging his tail. Which in turn, starts hitting her in the face. I turned to the oldest and said, “I don’t know whether to feel sorry for her or laugh.”  We both laughed! Is that bad?

You know how the saying goes, “It’s all fun and games until someone gets poked in the eye!” And just like the title reads…it hurts and it hurts bad.

I was helping my oldest with her school work one morning and we were kinda goofing off, I have to say. When I leaned in at the same time she threw her arm up to put it around me. I saw her finger coming right towards my face and luckily ducked in time. We had a good laugh about it and went back to the lesson.

A few hours later, my hubby came in and we were in the kitchen talking about what went on that morning. He was standing at the sink getting ready to cut up a cantaloupe when Little L wanted to be picked up. I scooped her up, and continued talking with hubby. I then remembered the near miss that oldest and I had earlier that day. Right in the middle of the story, Little L started squirming and I turned to look at her, at the same time she flipped around and her tiny little baby finger poked me square in the left eye.

I immediately yelped and put her down. “She just poked me in the eye!” I stated, trying to hold back tears. My hubby said “Are you ok? Don’t cry.” Which was too late, I was in tears running to the bathroom. OMG I couldn’t believe how much it hurt. What the hell did that kid have on her finger? I got to the bathroom and washed it out. It was stinging like mad. After a bit more washing, it was starting to feel better and I could open it. All through the rest of the day, off and on, my eye would just pain. It felt like dirt had been thrown into it. I hadn’t felt anything like this since I got my Lasik back in 2007.

That night, my eye started watering. Just gushing water down my cheek. My hubby got me an ice cold wash rag and I had to hold it on my eye off and on for over 2 hours. I didn’t think I was ever going to get it to stop and go to sleep.  It got so bad, that I couldn’t even open it, unless I washed it out first with water. Then it started swelling. Oh yea, it swelled almost shut in like a few minutes. I finally fell asleep after 2 a.m. and I was dreading what it was going to look like in the morning.

When I got up, it was still swollen but not anymore then what it had that night. That was good, I thought. But, my plans for the day was to go grocery shopping. Joy! Someone is gonna think I got punched in the freaking eye! It watered on and off for a couple of hours then all of a sudden stopped. It was still puffy and red, but atleast I could see to drive. I went on to the store and no one asked what happened. Like they would believe your 13 month old did that much damage. My eye healed over the next day or so but I now I have a lovely twitch from time to time. My oldest pointed out that I have a vein that sticks out on my eyelid that was not there before.

So beware folks. Don’t let those cute little faces and sweet baby smiles fool ya. They can turn on you in a sec and then you too will have a poke in the ole eye! 😉

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