Archive for the ‘humor’ Category

Kids can say some of the silliest things at times, we all know that. Through all the whining and crying and eating this week, Little L has said some pretty funny stuff. I need to write everything she says down, but when she says it, I think I will remember and well, then I don’t. But yesterday she outdid herself and I thought I would share a few with you.

“Come on buuuddy, Let’s dance!”  I don’t know if she has heard this one or she came up with it but it is really funny to hear it come out of her mouth. Especially when she stretches out the word buddy and she is wiggling her booty. When she first said it, she had her sis and I LOLing about it all day.

“Well well well, you have the bacon.”  She said this one last night over and over while her and sissy were playing. I guess she was wanting bacon and thought her sister had some. Anyways, it was one for the books, definitely.

Yesterday at lunch time, daddy was sitting on the couch eating. L was eating and watching a cartoon. He got done and as he was getting up, I sat down in his spot. Little L didn’t see this exchange. A few minutes later, she looked over at me and said, “Where daddy go?” “He went to the bathroom,” I told her. Then she scrunched up her little face and said, very disgustedly, “With him lunch!” Oldest was sitting on the other couch and we cracked up. “Oh no baby, he finished his lunch.” I said laughing. “Oh ok,” she said, and went right back to her cartoons.

Thanks for reading! 🙂

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I have always thought this comic was funny. Why? Because it’s my daughters middle name. I know, I have an evil side.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

Bathroom Break

Posted: September 25, 2015 in blog, funny, humor, Uncategorized
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This afternoon we had to run to the DMV to get some paperwork straightened out on a car that my hubby bought for a project. Once we got there, my bladder started calling. Which was weird because I had went before we left and I didn’t drink anything on the ride. My hubby runs in and grabs a number before I could tell him that I needed to find a restroom. We sat down and the number was only 2 away from being called. So…should I go or should I just sit and wait. With the DMV you never know if it is going to be a short time or an hour. I looked around but wasn’t seeing a restroom sign anywhere. Great, I thought, they probably don’t even have one. I told myself to just not think about it and it would be fine. I kept looking around and I finally seen a door all by itself with Restroom written in small print on it. Ah ha! They do have one. Ok. I felt a bit better knowing that there was in fact a light at the end of this tunnel. I was getting ready to tell my hubby that I was going, when they called our number.

I think it took longer at the window then it did to sit and wait to be called, but everything got worked out and we were all set. I told hubby that I had to go and he went on out to the truck. I got over to the door, then I saw another sign on it saying Please knock before entering. I knocked and heard a muffled sound from inside. Hum, I thought. Either someone was being held against their will inside the DMV bathroom or they were just saying occupied, don’t open the door. I stood by the door, afraid to step to far away. I didn’t want to lose my turn. It seemed like eternity, then I heard the flush. Yes, almost there. Then another minute went by and I heard another flush and another one followed that one. UGH! They have gone and jammed up the toilet and probably stunk it up in the meantime. Then I heard water running. Hurry! I was thinking, didn’t know if I could hold it much longer. Finally, the door slowly opened. I grabbed onto the handle to help, when I saw that it was two young girls coming out. I opened the door wider so I could go in and one handed me a long metal spatula with a key hooked to the end of it. “Here you go”, she said. I took it saying “ok thanks” and ran inside. There was a lock on the door, so I do not understand the note saying to knock. I locked it up and placed the key spatula thingy on the sink. I go over to the toilet, all is well, no clogs. I was about to sit down when the roll of paper towels, which was on top of the paper towel holder, fell off and hit the spatula and knocked them both to the floor making a very very loud clanging sound. I jumped but didn’t care. To close to relief and I wasn’t about to let anything stop me. I got done and picked up the paper towels and the key spatula and proceeded to wash my hands. Then I got to thinking, Who do I give the key spatula to when I go out? Where would this mysterious keeper of the bathroom key be located at, and who do I ask to find them? I unlocked the door and slowly opened it, just in case someone was standing there doing the pee pee dance like I was, when the same two girls came running up, grabbed the key spatula thingy, and went back inside. Which was fine by me. I was just happy to be out of there. 😉

Monday Funny

Posted: August 3, 2015 in blog, funny, humor, jokes, kids, tweens
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Found this on Facebook today and shared it and tagged Oldest in the post. Her response was “You wouldn’t dare.” My response, “Try me!” She didn’t say anything after that. Smart kid.

Which Animal Is She??

Posted: July 10, 2015 in blog, funny, humor, kids, ramblings, toddlers
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I can’t decide if my Little L is part cat or part monkey. Yesterday she was playing with her doll. I picked it up and noticed it was wet. The arm and top of its head especially.  “Were you licking your doll?” She shook her head no. “Then why is it all wet?”  No answer. Then she picks it up and licks its forehead while saying “Meow”.

This morning, while sitting beside me watching some cartoons, I start to tickle her. She begins making monkey noises that were really pretty cute. I know if we had a tree she would definitely climb it and try to hang from the branches.

Then there are the moments that she thinks she is a puppy. Everytime I give her a bowl, no matter what it is, she will stick her whole face in it and try to eat. But the puppy licks are sweet!  😉

I have come to a conclusion that Little L is a tad bit cray-cray. She can go from sweet little Baby Taz

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to full blown Devil in seconds. bigtaz

Putting her to bed is becoming a task in itself. Last night, she spent over 30 minutes screaming asking for more “milka”, while I begged her to just lie down and go to sleep. I eventually broke weak and gave her a little more and she turned over and went right to dream land.

This was me by the time she was asleep.

This was me by the time she was asleep.

But there is nothing like having an almost 2 year old screaming at you, just because you won’t open the freezer at 9 a.m. to give her an orange popsicle. Nope, nothing like it.

Hubby said that she kinda reminds him of the feral boy in Mad Max Road Warrior.

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One that runs around all willy nilly and crazy. If she doesn’t get her way, she doesn’t make sense what so ever. Just alot of screaming, grunting, baby cursing and throwing objects. Luckily she doesn’t have a boomerang.

I have always thought that putting a child on a leash was a little silly. Poor kid. Now, I am all for it. We can’t take L anywhere. We went grocery shopping this past Saturday evening. Hubby let her out of the cart and it was “game on” in her mind. She was running the isles and having a grand time. When we caught up to her I was at the end of my rope. I never thought I would be one of those parents. *Respect*

But that made me think of the Muppet that I always liked the best. Animal! I always thought he was cute and loved it when he tore up stuff.

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And look, they have to keep him on a leash too. Well, a collar and a chain around the neck, but I wouldn’t do that to her. 😉

Wednesday

Posted: June 10, 2015 in Animals, Babies, blog, funny, humor, Uncategorized
Tags: ,

 

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A few Wednesday funnies to get you through the rest of your week. 🙂

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And last but not least…

weekend is coming

What are the Odds?

Posted: June 6, 2015 in blog, funny, humor
Tags:

Oldest has only a few chores around the house that we constantly have to remind her to do. One is to take out the recycle and trash cans. The second, make sure the dog has fresh water outside, which we both fail at miserably, (I forget to remind her most days) but he stays inside more now since it is so hot. Third, get the mail. Not too bad of a list. So Thursday afternoon, her dad got onto her about the dog’s water again. She was eating lunch, so when she finished she was going to fill his bowl. I then told her to go ahead and check the mailbox.

  Her dad needed me to come outside to show me something. I asked Oldest to keep an eye on her sister and went on out. While we were talking, I decided to go ahead and get the mail myself. Now the mail box is kind of catty corner to the house. It’s a good little distance too. When I got to the box, I heard a noise, sounded as if someone threw a rock. Then another hit the mailbox.  “Well Hell!! It’s starting to hail.” I said outloud. After a little snicker to myself over the funny I just made, (yes, I  know I’m a nerd), I began to walk at a brisk pace towards the house. My brisk pace wasn’t brisk enough because I was getting majorly pelted with these hard ass little ice pellets. And WTF? It’s the desert for crying out loud. Where did this freak hail storm come from? I made it into the yard and I see hubby coming out of the garage with an umbrella. A little late, but it is the thought that counts! I got to the steps the same time he did and by now I was laughing and screaming, “Let me in the house!!”

By the time I got in, the hail was letting up and it started pouring the rain.  We all had a good laugh at my expense, but it was pretty funny. I mean what are the odds?

Next time, I am definitely sending Oldest! 😉

What did the snail say while riding on the turtle?
“Weeeeeeee”

Why did the turkey cross the road?
“Because the chicken had the day off.”

Today’s funnies brought to you by Carlton Banks.

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This morning, I took Oldest up to the library. I never park in the front row, since that is always the row everyone goes for. I seem to get claustrophobic when I have to park in between cars so I always go for the row that is not crowded. But today, I hit it at a good time and it wasn’t too crowded. Anyways…(I sure can get sidetracked easily)…We went in and Oldest picked her out several books and some music cd’s. We got all checked out and started for the van. We were talking, and I told her to put the books in the back floor board since we had another stop to make before heading home. We walked up to the van and I pulled on the handle for the side door to open. It didn’t come open. Now I never lock the van, don’t have anything in it to steal. Oldest is still chattering away about I don’t know what when I looked inside the window and noticed a coffee cup in the drink holder. Wait, I don’t drink coffee. Then I realized that the handle was black, “OMG this is not our van!” I yelled at Oldest. We both took off walking very fast down the row and my van was parked about 3 more spaces down. We were laughing so hard that we were taking forever to actually get into the van. The side door didn’t want to come all the way open for some unknown reason and then gave me a hard time shutting. I jumped in and told oldest I hope no one saw us and thinks we were trying to break into someones car. Then a car pulled in on the right side of me. Really dude there were like 4 empty spaces to the left and you have to pull right up on me while I am trying to back out. I told you I had issues. So I am waiting for jackass jerk to get parked then I put the van into reverse. All of a sudden the van starts beeping very loudly like I was a big ass bus trying to back up. WTH is this thing doing now? Wait it did it one other time and hubby told me what to do, what was it??  Nope we both couldn’t remember. I headed onto our second stop and it beeped the whole time. I got parked, it stopped beeping. I turned it off, then started it again. Put it into reverse, started beeping again. Oh whatever! When we finally headed home, it beeped the whole time. We even turned up the music so we couldn’t hear it. By the time we got home oldest was covering her ears it seemed like the beep was getting louder and louder. I pulled in and hubby met us in the drive way. He wanted to see if the van was leaking still. Popped the hood, no leak. I told him “we have another problem.” “What?” He asked. “The van won’t stop beeping, it beeped all the way home.” “Did you open the side door and not get it shut all the way?” “Oh that is what it was. I couldn’t remember how you fixed it before.” He walked over and opened up the door, which gave him no problems what so ever. Then shut it using the button that for some reason I never thought of pushing.

Some days I just should stay home. I don’t know how I make it sometimes. Like I said…Two blondes don’t make a right! 😉

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