Words Hurt

Posted: February 24, 2015 in blog, family, kids, parenting, tween, Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

Today, Oldest got her feelings hurt. Not from a friend or even a stranger. She got them hurt from her own Grandmother.

Oldest came up with a game, where she wanted to pretend that she was a baby. I think alot of it comes from Little L and that she gets the majority of the attention. Well, I guess she does, since she is a baby and needs to be watched and taken care of. Oldest gets lonely although we tell her to come out of her cave and spend time with us. So today, she wanted to be the baby like Little L. I made them lunch they sat on the floor and ate. Oldest walked around on her knees and so did Little L. It was really cute. L tries to copy her big sis soooooo much! When it came to nap time, Oldest wanted to go in with us and take a nap. She never naps during the day. I didn’t think it was going to work, but she actually slept longer then L did. Surprised me! After they got up, we were talking and she said that she wanted to do one more thing, before the game was over. She wanted me to give her a bottle of milk. I laughed, thinking this girl is cray cray, but she begged and although I thought it was a bit odd, I played along. I came in and got both she and L a bottle, gave one to L and the other one to Oldest. She leaned up against me like L does and started to drink. We both laughed. It was strange but silly. She finally drank it, L beat her though, and we laughed some more. They started playing so I snuck off to her room to check on her school work and make sure everything was done and what not. I then heard Oldest go into her grandmas room, and she began to tell her about the game. I heard her say that I fed her a bottle of milk. My mom, didn’t think it was very funny apparently, told my girl that we were stupid and that she didn’t want to hear about it. Then she asked where I was. Oldest told her that I was in her room. I heard her go back down the hallway and my heart ached. I just wanted to scream. Then my dear ole mum kept saying how stupid we were being. She just kept saying that word stupid over and over. More times then I want to recount. I had to bite my tongue, deep down I wanted to go let her have it. The way I play with my kids is NO ones business but mine. I just sat on the bed, hurt, by the words she was choosing to say. Why did she keep saying that word?

She finally stopped and I was done with what I wanted to do. I walked out of the room and headed down the hallway.ย  I came in and started watching cartoons with the girls. Oldest was laying on the bed covered up, like she was hiding. The cartoon went off and she moved closer to me. “I’m sorry,” she said. “For what?” “For making you play that stupid game.” There was that word again. “It’s ok, I heard what she said, don’t worry about it.” “You’re not stupid!” I told her. That was it, and we didn’t talk about it anymore.

My mom sometimes talks about how her mom always said hurtful things to her when she was growing up. My grandma died when I was 12, there are only a few memories that I have that I can remember her being mean. She had a bite to her words. I let this time go. I wish I hadn’t. I would never tell a kid that they are stupid. But next time, I may not be so nice. I only hope that there won’t be a next time.


  1. KaboodleMum says:

    You’re stronger than me, that’s for sure. I would have blown a gasket. Children become who they are between the age of newborn and 7. That’s it, we as parents have 7 years to fill our children with everything they need for the rest of their lives, social skills, how to interact with other people, how to appriciated themselves as people. Effectively, your mum just installed the idea that using her imagination is bad and also that her behaving younger than her years is stupid. Basically telling a child to grow up x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Charlie says:

    My middle kid has wanted to play a game similar to that with her little brother. She would want a sippy cup to drink alongside with him. I’ve always told her no (only because they are a pain to clean and I didn’t want any extra dishes…not to be mean to her). But, now, reading this, and reading how your oldest just wanted to play, I may not say no anymore.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. jimgormanjr says:

    I think that was really bad of her to do that to Oldest. I cant remember how old your Oldest is, but my 10 year old will play silly games and we never, ever say she is “stupid” but we might tease her about being super silly, but we never put down her games she wants to play

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Anxious Mom says:

    Wow, you showed more restraint than I would have.

    Liked by 1 person

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